Sunday, December 14, 2014

Quick Update

So many stories to update in this blog, so little time. Na ah. I lied. Actually I'm just extremely lazy to start writing again. How about I upload few of my favorite photos from my previous trip to Malang instead? I hope you don't mind. :)

Sunday, September 21, 2014


So yesterday, a friend of mine @ranggacepot tagged me to join the latest challenge #20FactsAboutMe on instagram. I thought I wouldnt join this challenge at all. But I was wrong. Well, challenge accepted then!! (You can also check it on my insta account @seswiena)

1. I can't swim. Yet my dream holiday destination is Maldives.

2. I love sweet treats! Candy, cake, ice cream, martabak, donuts, etc.

3. Biting lips in one bad habit of mine.

4. Living and studying in Melbourne is also one of my dream. (Hopefully it will come true. Aamiin.)

5. Can not leave oriental boys alone. I have a huge crush on T.O.P of BIGBANG, Ahn Jae Hyun, and Kim Woo Bin.

6. I used to be a collector of few items. From wooden display to Happy Meal toys. But unfortunately it has stopped. Currently thinking about collecting crystal ball as a new hobby.

7. My all time favorite fragrance: Clinique Happy Woman & Man (don't judge me)

8. I once fallen from ojek when I was in high school. Blame it on my bad intentions. I wanted to smack my friend but failed. Karma did exist.

9. My method of working out: running, bicycling, aerobic.

10. I have small moles behind my left knee. That's why people said I love to walk around.

11. When I chat, I won't left 'HAHAHA' behind. I always type it everytime I reply someone's chat. HAHAHA. So nonchalant.

12. My voice is so unstable. Just like my personality. Sometimes it can be in the lowest tone just like silverboyz (if you know what I mean), sometimes the tone can be too high. Even dolphin couldn't handle it.

13. My own fashion statement: RING! I feel weird if I don't wear ring on my finger.

14. A true Scorpion. Egocentric, sharp-tongued, sometimes antagonist. Hahahaha.

15. Still 24 but already got so much grey hair (genetic factor). Yet I can't wait till the day my hair completely turn into grey so I could have my own pastel hair without bleaching it first. :p

16. It's difficult to act as a normal lady. Therefore I choose to be gidil lady instead. Aha!

17. I love watching the rain pouring down through the window while sitting in the car. Duileeee...

18. I grit my teeth while I sleep.

19. Can't resist anything in pink. But currently being tempted by red.

20. I once appointed as flag hoisting troop (not sure what to call it in english) in school and I failed. I raised the flag upside down and all participants of the ceremony had to turn back until the flag raised correctly. So embarrasing. I won't forget it till the end of time.

Well, those are #20FactsAboutMe. How about you? Do you want to do the same? :)


Monday, July 7, 2014

The One I Look Up To

I was looking at my father this morning and suddenly realized that he's so old now. His face is a little bit pale, and the wrinkles on his face has grown a lot than before. The look of his eyes shows that he's currently thinking about few things. It's so saddening to see him in that condition. However I'm proud of him for being such a dependable father for his family, through the good and tough condition. And also for being such a hard worker man at his retire age. As a daughter, I am really proud of him.

I used to think that he's a cold person with egocentric mindset and honestly, until now, sometimes it feels kinda awkward to be around him because he tends to not to smile and rarely jokes around. But when he starts to talk, he always encourages me to continue study until I get my own PhD title. He gave me tons of advice about life. He said to me, as a woman, I may have to stay at home when I'm marrying someone later. But he said, I can not use marriage as a reason to stop me to join graduate school. He added, I have to always broaden my knowledge, pursuing my career, and have a better life than himself.

Tons of thanks maybe won't enough to repay all the good deeds you've given to me. As a daughter, I'm completely realized that I am far from good. Therefore I would want to say to my dad:
For being such a stubborn daughter, I would like to apologize.
For being such a troublesome daughter, I would like to apologize.
For all those angers, protests, and rebel time, I would like to apologize.
For not replying your question in our conversation, I would like to apologize.
For not obeying your advices, I would like to apologize.

Dear Bapak, I know I may not be able to say this to you face to face. That's why I write this post to say those unsaid words. I don't even know how to react if someday you've read this post and ask me directly. That would be so awkward, I guess. And I hope you wouldn't mind about that.

Dear Bapak, you may not be a perfect human being. You have so many flaws. But in my honest opinion, you deserved to be the one I look up to. 

Dear Bapak, honestly I almost teared up when I write this post and I hate being so sentimental like this. I know you hate it also. For you the one who has been my influence, I would like to say "You've inspired me a lot. Thank you."

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Conflicted Thoughts

I live in grey area. It's not that I'm bad, but I'm not that great either. I tend to be a person in 'standard/default mode'. To be honest, I am a person who often trapped in the middle of stagnancy. I tend to stop and not finishing the things I've been working on if I find it less interesting. I am a person with lack of consistency. There I said it.

I try to change that mindset. I try to manage myself in order to be a better person. And I think the only thing I can do is work harder and (try to) be persistent. But in the end I always ask myself "Will I able to survive with this lack of talent?". That's the mystery.

Someone said to me that actually smart people didn't exist, there is only diligent people with a little bit talent and talented people who has lack of motivation. That person also said to me, brain without discipline is such a waste. What a motivation for me. But....

A sound in my heart says I could survive. The other says I won't.

For you my dearest pals who read this post, shortly after you read I bet you'll think about "what the hell this person doing?" and I guess some of you will think that I'm insane. But I beg for your pardon pals, actually this conflicted thoughts have already hanging on my mind since ages ago and the best thing to do for me is writing all these conflicted thoughts in this blog.

Hopefully I can untangle this tangled rope.

Should I Call It A New Chapter of My Life?

Hiyabadabadoooooo! So glad to be back here after such long hiatus. A bit confused to decide from where do I have to start. Well, starting from mid May, I'm officially working in a new office. I can't call it working actually. Because from mid May until now, all I've done is just adapting, conversing, listening, studying, and not to forget: training (physically).

So, after 3 days of orientation at my new office, finally I came to Rindam Jaya (Resimen Induk Daerah Militer Jaya Jayakarta, TNI AD) in Condet, East Jakarta, on May 23rd in order to be trained by so called bunch of soldiers. I was extremely worried and anxious about what will happen there. Besides, I'm not a person who frequently use a physical on a daily basis. But thank God, all those bad thoughts actually never happened. To be honest, the training I've ever attended in high school was much more frightening than the training I got in Rindam Jaya (except PBB). Maybe it's because of female seniors I've met in high school. You know, women could be extremely scary sometimes. And thank God once again, there's no female trainer in Rindam. One thing for sure, I'm not downgrading the position of woman here. But when I think about how to survive in one week when I was in Rindam, the first thing I beg to God is: please let it be only male trainer there. :p

The first day in Rindam was quite 'fun'. One thing that less fun was meal time. I had to eat a set of lunch and dinner in a big portion. I felt guilty with my same-table-partner because I had to ask them to help me. Surprisingly, I could eat those big portions on the next day till the last day. Hahahaha. Thanks to tummy's remarkable adapting skill. Also hats off to those big portions, I've gained 1 kilo after I left Rindam (triple huftness). The other interesting time on my first day in Rindam was bath time. In each dorm (or we call it barrack there), we only got one big bathroom and all 60 women had to bath together in it with all those chatting, screaming, giggling, and so on. 

Day by day, I've barely managed to adapt with Rindam's cycle of life and there I arrived on the last day. The last day was the heaviest and the funniest of all day I've been through in Rindam Jaya. All physical things from crawling, running, push-up, sit-up, occurred on last day. The funniest things are the 'Jasmani Militer' session and of course the long awaited free time. In 'Jasmani Militer' session, I made it down the hill with only a rope. Such a cool experience for me.  A bit disappointed because there's no flying fox there. But this experience will forever stay in my brain and heart. Trust me.

After orientation days and physical training in Rindam, now I've arrived at the most crucial moment on my days as a Rookie Public Servant. Yup, it's Diklat Prajabatan, filled with so many classes from the first day (June 5th) till 23rd day (June 27th). Please pray for me so I can pass the exam, graduating with excellent score, and throwing away the title 'rookie' and fully working for the Ministry as a Public Servant. :)

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